What do I have to do to be happy?

I gave in and invited my ex-fiancee over for dinner tonight. I know it was a mistake but I miss him so much. He's really funny and charming and since i kicked him out my life has been so boring. Now he's asleep on my sofa wearing nothing but that stupid deer skin loin cloth he made, snoring so loud it could wake the dead, drooling on my pillow and covered in empty beer cans and Fritos. I always love a rugged man but he is just gross. In fact he's the grossest man I have ever known. Tomorrow I will have to scrub the 'stains' off of my sofa and the very air in the living room smells like an open grave from his hot breath and snoring and farting. Do you think it's possible to clean him up? I would be satisfied if he would just stop getting drunk every single night and not be so gross. Does anyone else have a man like this?